People who are more clever then me

Needless to say I am pretty fond of myself. When I look at myself in the mirror I am most likely to ask who the man is...and the expectation is that my reflection would reply 'you da man.' So I can get a little frustrated when I stumble on someone obviously more clever then me. I am not talking about able to go toe to toe with my in a cleverness face off, I am talking about me drunkenly stumbling by seeing the captain cleverness with her cleverness skills on display and then throwing up on her shows...That is how I have been feeling lately.

A little back story if any is really necessary since I am the only one that reads this crap and really I am just talking to myself...what ever. Back to the back story. I am prone to lie...here is some truth. I know this guy...he has a blog...he updates his blog infrequently. Even less frequently then me I would say. He updated his blog recently. Put a picture of himself in a place I would not like to be (shifty don't like heights, not sure why, they used to be no problem, but lately, they are) so ok...in addition to the picture, he updated his buddy links...I was not added. Shifty is no ones buddy, hated by all. Amongst his new buddy list was...the reason for my existance...the source of all my ire's new blog, it pretty much sucks...and is not at all clever. Shifty's ole' roomy's live journal...She is pretty damn clever, but I don't think that is the focus of the journal, and my new source of envy... Fluffy. I don't know Fluffy, I have gathered this...she is married...has a dad, lives in city B...and she is more clever then me. Her blog just makes me look bad. There are no urban dictionary cop out links....there is no fabulous brick pics...just sheer unadulterated clever. So much more clever then me. I mourn the loss of my naivete in thinking I was ever clever.

It just makes me mad. I guess I will prolly have to go down and find city b, get drunk and find fluffy so I can puke on her shoes.

Back from the dead.

one of my old coworkers is not so happy. The people brought in to take over the grooming are not very good at their jobs. I guess sometimes when you ask them for a trim you might get more then you expected and he feels like he spends his whole day just fixing all the trims and trying to make the clients a little more willing to take their pet and go home.

he is an angry man.

I guess the best part of my week though, was when the new guys messed up something so bad my old boss decided it must be the fault of me and my coworkers who intimidated the new guys...and so they are all banned from talking to us now. That is awesome.

Panic! at the interstate

Everyone is talking about it these days, so why the hell shouldn't I? I made a reference to aqua teen two whole posts ago, so clearly I have ATHF cred.

Here is my attitude on the security issues in Boston.

Give me a fucking break. Come on, give me a break, seriously, Err going to blow up your shit? Have you seen how slow a bullet from the quad laser goes? You just need to move out of the way.

Did you see how hard ignignac was flipping you off in all the picts? Has hard as he could man. As hard as he could.

All new stalker mojo

ok, I was bored at work and I decided to look up an old high school friend. I thought she lived in Canada but it seems she just moved back to my home town, or somewhere there about. What I was really most jazzed about though is that I can just use zabasearch to stalk whoever the hell and I want and even if I never turn around and actually act on my natural stalker tendency I can get the satisfaction of knowing where my stalkee lives, and really that is probably good enough.

Resolve

too lazy for a link today.


I resolve the following:

• step up level of pruning
• destroy people dedicated to old school
• become anorexic
• south bronx paradise
  

tubby bitches

yeah that is me these days. but I have a plan. I started going to the gym and I have decided to experiment with anorexia until I reach my goal weight of 109pds. I am about 6'1" and male so I figure 109 is about right.

let's get started.

South Bronx Paradise baby!

feh

people ask for stuff...you think you do what they want...it is actually something else...and then headaches.

I not have a headache.

I couldn't be happier for them

oh kid rock and pammy.

I love you guys.

congrats to both of you for lasting just over a month per wedding


go you

SD rules

Oh yeah, South Dakota style kickin.

Not only do the glorious people of South Dakota want to change things. The glorious people of South Dakota want to change things so bad they elect dead people.

DEAD PEOPLE.

Take that Cheney.

delusion

So I gots my fly new job all set up. I will be pruning the back sides of pampered cats from now on...but my old boss...who was the manager of doggy backside pruning seems to keep wanting me to take care of the dogs...I have seen enough doggy back sides at this point and want to start concentrating on cats.

I sort of don't get why I the ole' and busted boss still thinks I am going to take care of the dogs.

take that bitches

I heard a rumor that the guy I was bidding for that job against was telling people that of the three people being considered I was last...

Turns out he got the order right, him, other guy, me...if the order is from least desirable to most...

I got the job motherfucker.


go f yourself you back stabbing son of a bitch.

mother fucker

ok...

Let no one say that Shifty is not benevolent to those around him, but once you cross the line, you are dead to shifty.

So ok here is the deal...Shifty is thinking he might get a new job, a job in which he will be required to refer to himself only in the third person. Shifty is practicing right now. Ok practice is over. Anyway, So I am looking for a new job, and I tell this guy I know...and he is all 'That's great, I am so happy for you buddy' and then he applies for the job behind my back...motherfucker.

I was up front, I told the guy what I was up to...he could have done the same, but no. He lies.

So now he is dead to me.

dead.

3 is a magic number

I got three hits yesterday. That is like 3 more then I got last month. Holy Cripity crap.

Ok I am in all earnest posting because I heard that death cab for cutie song on the radio today...And I know I am all about the old news and what not, but I like it...I even bought the whole damn album just on the merit of the one song...and it is good...there is also a song I really liked by the killers that they tacked on the end of the Matador...This is kind of hard for me, seeing as how I am generally of the opinion that music in this day and age is the ass...which puts me in a tough spot...I guess what I would like to see is that there is an actual shift in the music industry and after years and years of drek there is a chance that good music might come back...I thought Franz Ferdinand was pretty good, but then, drek and drek and drek...So maybe this is just a one off too...I know DCfC has like a billion albums and I should have heard of them when they actually lived in Seattle, but, come on, I live in a basement...don't go out much...give a fella break here.

I just thought the whole anti-religion, anti-anti-love song nature of 'I will follow you' was pretty neat.

Someone actually yelled at me for being an optimist the other day 'the fuck?'

little deaths

I think I am going to quit my job. Why not right? I guess I like the benefits (there are hotels on either side of the building I work on and many employees have reported more exhibitionist patrons hanging their naughty bits out the windows...one co-worker even reported a duo playing the back door bingo in full view of the world, but I digress)

The point is I kind of hate my boss...I thought I didn't, but I really do. And really fuck her and her fucking fuck.

And so I say, see how you like it when I am gone.

little deaths

I think I am going to quit my job. Why not right? I guess I like the benefits (there are hotels on either side of the building I work on and many employees have reported more exhibitionist patrons hanging their naughty bits out the windows...one co-worker even reported a duo playing the back door bingo in full view of the world, but I digress)

The point is I kind of hate my boss...I thought I didn't, but I really do. And really fuck her and her fucking fuck.

And so I say, see how you like it when I am gone.

stupid stuborn motherfucker

ok, I have in the past referred to my lack of patience for the stupid, but what I really fucking hate is stupid motherfuckers that argue with me about dumb ass shit.

Shifty: Hey dumbfuck, what is up with that thing I asked you to fix
Dumbfuck:I fixed it.
Shifty: It is still broken.
Dumbfuck: I fixed it...I went to the thing, did this thing, and I am sure it is all set.
Shifty: When I noticed it was still broken I went and checked...it is totally obvious nothing has been done.
Dumbfuck: it is fixed.


and this is why I am filled with hate for dumbfuck.

you can put an orange in front of him and he will still call it a fucking apple.

blogisfaction

I am torn on whether I enjoy blogging or not. I often read other blogs...I find some interesting...I find others the source of great fun if only to harass people, but neither answers the issue of whether I like blogging. I do not put pictures of my life up...or relate stories about myself...just little bits of venom.

can't decide what to do about that.

zero

I put a counter on the bottom of my blog cuz I was all curious like.

I was under the mistaken impression that every once in a while people would peruse my blog when hitting that next blog button. I know I press that button quite a bit. It is the key to my blogging happiness...and how I have found so many people to bother. But I guess no one is looking at my blog. Which is pretty sweet as far as I can see it.

oh how the hater is hated.

divine and delicious irony that I hate myself the most.

hate hate hate

Mel Gibson

Ok, I just read the TMZ article on the Mel. Now clearly all the Jews in the world are out to get this man since he is known to be the new Messiah. Since God is supposed to be looking out for him I can not understand how he could possibly have been pulled over and arrested. I mean sure he was drunk, speeding, and incredibly beligerant, but what you need to remember here is that God is on his side. There is no way the Mel would have crashed or hurt someone else. God was pushing his car. Guiding it. Making sure the only one it could hit would be the Jews that were out to get him, and God.

It's freakin hot in here

Not sure if you checked, but it was 108108 degrees in SD the other day.

That is pretty damn hot. It is so hot that when you go outside and put a pan on the ground you can then place an egg in the pan and cook it and eat the egg without becoming dead from food poisoning. It also effects the brain. I have previously stated that I live in a basement. One which is often flooded...It is not currently flooded as it is so hot that all moisture immediately evaporates and even in my subterranean home it is still so hot I want to go outside and murder someone. Which is pretty uncool by legal and judeo-christian standards. Just the same, I am pretty unhappy with the state of things.