tubby bitches

yeah that is me these days. but I have a plan. I started going to the gym and I have decided to experiment with anorexia until I reach my goal weight of 109pds. I am about 6'1" and male so I figure 109 is about right.

let's get started.

South Bronx Paradise baby!

feh

people ask for stuff...you think you do what they want...it is actually something else...and then headaches.

I not have a headache.

I couldn't be happier for them

oh kid rock and pammy.

I love you guys.

congrats to both of you for lasting just over a month per wedding


go you

SD rules

Oh yeah, South Dakota style kickin.

Not only do the glorious people of South Dakota want to change things. The glorious people of South Dakota want to change things so bad they elect dead people.

DEAD PEOPLE.

Take that Cheney.

delusion

So I gots my fly new job all set up. I will be pruning the back sides of pampered cats from now on...but my old boss...who was the manager of doggy backside pruning seems to keep wanting me to take care of the dogs...I have seen enough doggy back sides at this point and want to start concentrating on cats.

I sort of don't get why I the ole' and busted boss still thinks I am going to take care of the dogs.

take that bitches

I heard a rumor that the guy I was bidding for that job against was telling people that of the three people being considered I was last...

Turns out he got the order right, him, other guy, me...if the order is from least desirable to most...

I got the job motherfucker.


go f yourself you back stabbing son of a bitch.

mother fucker

ok...

Let no one say that Shifty is not benevolent to those around him, but once you cross the line, you are dead to shifty.

So ok here is the deal...Shifty is thinking he might get a new job, a job in which he will be required to refer to himself only in the third person. Shifty is practicing right now. Ok practice is over. Anyway, So I am looking for a new job, and I tell this guy I know...and he is all 'That's great, I am so happy for you buddy' and then he applies for the job behind my back...motherfucker.

I was up front, I told the guy what I was up to...he could have done the same, but no. He lies.

So now he is dead to me.

dead.

3 is a magic number

I got three hits yesterday. That is like 3 more then I got last month. Holy Cripity crap.

Ok I am in all earnest posting because I heard that death cab for cutie song on the radio today...And I know I am all about the old news and what not, but I like it...I even bought the whole damn album just on the merit of the one song...and it is good...there is also a song I really liked by the killers that they tacked on the end of the Matador...This is kind of hard for me, seeing as how I am generally of the opinion that music in this day and age is the ass...which puts me in a tough spot...I guess what I would like to see is that there is an actual shift in the music industry and after years and years of drek there is a chance that good music might come back...I thought Franz Ferdinand was pretty good, but then, drek and drek and drek...So maybe this is just a one off too...I know DCfC has like a billion albums and I should have heard of them when they actually lived in Seattle, but, come on, I live in a basement...don't go out much...give a fella break here.

I just thought the whole anti-religion, anti-anti-love song nature of 'I will follow you' was pretty neat.

Someone actually yelled at me for being an optimist the other day 'the fuck?'

little deaths

I think I am going to quit my job. Why not right? I guess I like the benefits (there are hotels on either side of the building I work on and many employees have reported more exhibitionist patrons hanging their naughty bits out the windows...one co-worker even reported a duo playing the back door bingo in full view of the world, but I digress)

The point is I kind of hate my boss...I thought I didn't, but I really do. And really fuck her and her fucking fuck.

And so I say, see how you like it when I am gone.

little deaths

I think I am going to quit my job. Why not right? I guess I like the benefits (there are hotels on either side of the building I work on and many employees have reported more exhibitionist patrons hanging their naughty bits out the windows...one co-worker even reported a duo playing the back door bingo in full view of the world, but I digress)

The point is I kind of hate my boss...I thought I didn't, but I really do. And really fuck her and her fucking fuck.

And so I say, see how you like it when I am gone.

stupid stuborn motherfucker

ok, I have in the past referred to my lack of patience for the stupid, but what I really fucking hate is stupid motherfuckers that argue with me about dumb ass shit.

Shifty: Hey dumbfuck, what is up with that thing I asked you to fix
Dumbfuck:I fixed it.
Shifty: It is still broken.
Dumbfuck: I fixed it...I went to the thing, did this thing, and I am sure it is all set.
Shifty: When I noticed it was still broken I went and checked...it is totally obvious nothing has been done.
Dumbfuck: it is fixed.


and this is why I am filled with hate for dumbfuck.

you can put an orange in front of him and he will still call it a fucking apple.

blogisfaction

I am torn on whether I enjoy blogging or not. I often read other blogs...I find some interesting...I find others the source of great fun if only to harass people, but neither answers the issue of whether I like blogging. I do not put pictures of my life up...or relate stories about myself...just little bits of venom.

can't decide what to do about that.

zero

I put a counter on the bottom of my blog cuz I was all curious like.

I was under the mistaken impression that every once in a while people would peruse my blog when hitting that next blog button. I know I press that button quite a bit. It is the key to my blogging happiness...and how I have found so many people to bother. But I guess no one is looking at my blog. Which is pretty sweet as far as I can see it.

oh how the hater is hated.

divine and delicious irony that I hate myself the most.

hate hate hate

Mel Gibson

Ok, I just read the TMZ article on the Mel. Now clearly all the Jews in the world are out to get this man since he is known to be the new Messiah. Since God is supposed to be looking out for him I can not understand how he could possibly have been pulled over and arrested. I mean sure he was drunk, speeding, and incredibly beligerant, but what you need to remember here is that God is on his side. There is no way the Mel would have crashed or hurt someone else. God was pushing his car. Guiding it. Making sure the only one it could hit would be the Jews that were out to get him, and God.

It's freakin hot in here

Not sure if you checked, but it was 108108 degrees in SD the other day.

That is pretty damn hot. It is so hot that when you go outside and put a pan on the ground you can then place an egg in the pan and cook it and eat the egg without becoming dead from food poisoning. It also effects the brain. I have previously stated that I live in a basement. One which is often flooded...It is not currently flooded as it is so hot that all moisture immediately evaporates and even in my subterranean home it is still so hot I want to go outside and murder someone. Which is pretty uncool by legal and judeo-christian standards. Just the same, I am pretty unhappy with the state of things.

team girlfriend

So I got out of scrimshaw and a bit north and a whole lot east to Quebec City. Oh what a little bit of the frenchy can do for ya.

While there I took in a fantastic CAN-AM league baseball game. Since pretty much no one goes to these games I was able pay my small money and seat in the third row...just behind the team girlfriends. There were three of them, since this is the minor, minor, minor leagues of baseball I figure you can't get yourself your own stripper girlfriend like you could in the major leagues...So I figured these girls were pretty much taking care of the whole team. There seemed to be the appropriate tiers represented by the girls...All were kinda pretty, with one bottle blond with the recently augmented assets looking like she took the guys that maybe had a shot, a strawberry blond with slightly roomy hips taking care of the middle third, and a short, somewhat cute girl taking care of the rest of team. It was a good game for the Caps and I got my fill of the non-baseball taking care of strippers.

good times

who am i

I don't get a ton of comments on my blogalicious little blog...I also do not post a lot...the quantity of increase due to the two tommy lee and pam posts is almost beyond calculation using modern math. But hard math aside people (or person) asked who I am. I thought that was clear. I am a brick. a dead weight. that scum that develops on a glass left in a dusty room. I think that is it.

Rock Star

While I am on the point, and procrastinating.

I have been watching that rock start show, or was until they kicked Jenny off. She was my fave.

Here are the following observations I have made at this point:

1. Tommy Lee does not care how you sing as long as you look good doing it.
2. This band will suck much harder then the product of Rock Star:INXS. While JD Fortune was in every way terrible and had a lot of emotional issues he will likely never resolve the one song that I have heard is not in every way hateful, just in many many many ways. Rock Star: Supernova will produce music that is only GOD AWFUL DRECK.
3. I don't know who any of the judges besides Tommy Lee and Dave are and I do not want to be aquainted with anything they have done. One is supposedly from GnR, but I remember them from when I was younger and he was not in the band, which means he probably replaced someone in the original line up and since no one cared about them after thier first album he is no one. The other guy was supposedly from Metallica I think. Now these are the guys that sued Napster complaining about how poor they were. They can suck my Tommy Lee.
4. Brooke Burke may be divorced from her plastic surgeon husband but she is still looking ok.
5. none of the remaining bitches left can sing or are worth caring about.

I think I am done with this topic.

love and kisses to Pam and Kid Rock

I wrote out this whole long post recently about how I am back and how everyone missed me and what a rocking time it was to visit Angola. I had like 50 picts of the place I had uploaded and then I forgot to click post...damn I am lame. In lieu of that though I will submit the following.

I was incredibly happy to see that Kid and Pam finally decided to make it legal. An upstanding couple like those two are sure to last. When I saw the Bret Michaels video with Pam, and the Tommy Lee video with Pam I knew those were not relationships that could last...and When I saw the Kid Rock video with all those girls and Scott Stapp I knew Kid's heart wasn't in it...But now...With Kid and Pam and Pam's current set of implants together what could go wrong?

Nothing. I will murder myself if something does, but I only say that since I know nothing will.

monster in law

Have you ever seen that movie? god it is terrible.

I actually am not a huge J Lo fan. She is cute and all...has good skin, but I think she is way big for her britches.

And that Vaughn guy, I like alias and all, in fact I think Ben made the right decision on Benifer II, but really, we are talking about the first movie back for Jane Fonda...Couldn't she do better? Seriously.

come on.

Sympathy for the devil

Ok here is the deal. I think it is ok to hate people. I hate a lot of people. I hate stupid people the most, but I will not limit my dislike of people to just that. I do not hate along race lines. I don't really think hate should be spread out that way. If you are a racist or a bigot, well I probably hate you, and the way I see it that is earned hate. Besides if you hate an entire race, really you are just watering down your hate and distributing it to people who don't deserve it. How do you know you are hating someone worth hating if you hate indiscriminately? Wait until that person does or says something to EARN your hate. Right now I kind of hate the company I work for, because they block the urban dictionary and I like the urban dictionary. I had planned to include a link to hater in this post, but no, UrbDic is blocked so no link. I hate George Bush. Not as much as many, I don't plan to do any harm to the man, not like I could, but while I may hate myself, I don't want to get killed or end up in jail, so I will maintain my hate for the man simply by wishing him ill. If he chokes on another pretzel, I guess that is just fine. I also hate Condi Rice and most of his cabinet. In fact, odds are pretty good if you are in a position of power in this country I don't really like you all that much. Hate? Well, I don't know about that. I didn't hate John Kerry at first, but I sort of do now. There was a time when I respected John McCain, but now I think he is just GW's monkey. Straw poll for Bush? Come on, if he had the chance he would put you back in that prison in Vietnam and torture you some more. Grow a pair, say you hate his guts. Call it catharsis and move on.

whatever.

The point is I hate stupid people. If you are stupid and don't know me, don't talk to me because I will probably end up hating you.

hip-hop-crazy

I am a hypocrite seven ways to Sunday and I am proud.

I do not think anyone has looked at or cares about my blog...So I should embrace that, yet I feel that if no one reads the blog, why bother...but I hate bloggers and have made sport of mocking them...and in doing so, myself...a little introspective today...first post in months.

go to hell me and everyone else...I should just post porn...that seems to attract a lot of attention.

in need of sleep

not sure why, because I think I get a ton...but I feel like I got hit by a truck today...not like a RAV4 or a CRV either...like the mack truck variety...I am a little dizzy and sore all over.


maybe I need to tone down the rampant alcholism.

or something